I am reblogging this due to my fear of sharks. This year I missed out on the first leg of a triathalon, swimming in ocean, due to my deep fear of sharks. I need to get over this!!!
1. Don’t swim in the sea
More than 99% of all shark attacks happen in large water masses, also known as oceans. The way to establish if you’re in the ocean is to taste the water. It should taste salty.
2. Swim with fat people
Always make sure there are fat people already in the water before you enter. Chances are you will be able to swim faster than them and save yourself.
3. Don’t go in the water without a knife.
That’s to stab the nearest swimmer when you see a shark. As soon as he/she bleeds profusely, swim as fast as you can to the shore and claim you tried your best to save him/her. You might end up getting an award for bravery.
4. Listen intently
All sharks have a ‘theme song’ - if you hear the following, swim for your life: daa-dam, daa-dam, daa-dam. If it sounds like this: dadam, dadam, dadam, you’re already gone.
5. Don’t panic
Stay calm when a shark bites you. It’s over, you’re gone and panicking won’t help you survive. The people on the shore will appreciate it, they don’t want to hear your mad yelling and screaming, it’s not nice. Please think of the children.
A hibernating dormouse curls up in the palm of a hand, blissfully unaware it has been rescued from a back garden. The tiny animal can be only be handled for just a few seconds because the touch of human skin would wake it prematurely. Dormouse expert Dave Williams saved the three-inch creature from death after it was left exposed to frost, wind and rain when a gardener accidently raked its woven grass nest from under a hedge he’d trimmed. Picture: SIMON CZAPP / SOLENT. via telegraph uk
Bring me back my filet o dog - bring him back now!! ooooooooooooohh..